Disclaimer: I, personally, have only conducted the following study ONCE. Because my results proved so positive, however, I feel confident that if you would like to try this study yourself you should see very similar results.
In order to guarantee these results, though, it is absolutely imperative that you follow these steps precisely. Do not skip any steps. Make sure the steps are completed in the order posted and ABSOLUTELY DO NOT begin this test until AFTER your man has left town FOR AT LEAST A WEEK! With any luck, you, too, will realize that the man you are with is the one you should never let go.
Good luck!
1. While your man is away, phone him nightly and inquire about his day.
2. While on the phone with him, remind him how much he means to you, and that you can't wait to see him again.
3. While this step goes without saying, DO NOT forget to tell him you love him... A LOT!
4. After he's been away for five days, take a trip to your local animal shelter to see about adopting a puppy that you previously viewed online.
5. Once at the shelter, you will learn that said puppy was adopted ONE HOUR prior to your arrival. Do not despair, however. Instead, listen to the shelter staff and agree to a walk-through to view the other adoptable dogs.
6. STOP--as soon as you come to a kennel housing the little brown dog winking at you from deep inside her e-collar.
7. Place your right hand over your heart and feel how quickly your heart is beating while you look at Little Brown Dog's sweet face.
8. While continuing to smile at her, tell her how beautiful she is even though one of her eyes doesn't seem to open.
9. Kneel down on to the concrete floor and slip your fingers under her cage COMPLETELY DISREGARDING the DO NOT TOUCH DOGS sign posted RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Let Little Brown Dog sniff and lick your fingers until Ms. Looky-Loo rudely informs you "that you shouldn't touch the dogs. It says so right here."
10. Even though you feel like telling Ms. Loo to mind her own beeswax, you must, instead, smile and politely tell her "thank you for the reminder."
11. Play with Little Brown Dog in the "Visitation Room" all the while trying to take pictures of her with your iPhone despite her inability to sit still.
12. Stick your hand inside her collar, scratch under her neck and behind her ears, and watch her melt like buttah.
13. Feel your own heart melt the very same way.
14. Tell Little Brown Dog that you'd like to adopt her, if she'll have you.
15. Spend an eternity filling out the necessary paperwork to make her yours.
16. When all the I's are dotted and all the T's are crossed, kiss her and tell her you're ALL HERS. :)
17. Place her into the back seat of your daughter's tiny little car and RUSH to the pet store before picking up your child from elementary school so that you can buy a new dog bed and some dog food.
18. Introduce Little Brown Dog to your child after she puts down the book she is reading while walking to the car to meet you. (I guarantee said child will IMMEDIATELY fall head over heels for said doggie)
19. Once you arrive home, snap a picture of Little Brown Dog and send it to your far away man with the attached text: Meet our new baby!!!!
20(A). PRAY that he calls back.
20(B). PRAY that he will still return home at the end of his trip.
21. When he finally calls you, be sure to repeat steps 2 and 3. (This is very important.)
22. Begin describing Little Brown Dog to your man. Tell him how sweet and cute she is. Tell him how she will be such a good fit for your family because she's so athletic. How she will surely be a good runner and MOST DEFINITELY a FABULOUS mountain biker! And how, with training, maybe she could even play hockey! (Okay that may be a stretch)
23. After your man says okay, send him constant doggie photos and updates with messages that read:
"Hi Daddy, can't wait to meet you!"
"Hi Daddy, had such a good night. I slept all night long!"
"Hi Daddy I haven't had ONE accident in the house! Not one!"
"Hi Daddy, met Grandpa Dahl Today. He's super cool!"
And so on...
24. When the time comes for your man to meet Little Brown Dog have NO fear! He will come prepared with a bag of doggie treats that he purchased on his way home therefore making their first meeting a successful one.
25. Spend the next few days with your man, your child, and Little Brown Dog at the soccer field,
 |
| Cheering on Nora's team |
in the woods, or driving down the road in your man's truck. Feel your heart grow every time you look at them all together.
26. Three days after your man comes home from his trip, accompany him and Little Brown Dog to the vet where you will learn that Little Brown Dog needs immediate eye surgery. In Seattle!
27. Tell your man how sorry you are for taking on this dog, on your own, without any input from him, only to learn that she has "some issues."
28. Smile when he responds with, "well, we better fix her then."
29. Load Little Brown Dog back into your daughter's tiny little car, kiss your man goodbye, and head North on I-5.
30. When your man texts a few hours later and says, "Don't stress about Hattie. She'll be a good dog with one eye or two. She's what REALLY called you to the pound that day. To save her! Karma Points for you!" wipe your eyes and reply with the message: "I LOVE YOU!"
To which he will reply: "LOVE YOU MOST!" Which will make you cry again and realize that this man you love, this man you married, is a keeper! To be kept close forever!
Welcome to the family Hattie! I hope you'll like it here :)
This post is dedicated to Dave (and Hattie)
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