BFFs

Nora went to a birthday party on Sunday.  The party was for Meredith, her BFF.

Apparently, having a BFF is very important in second grade.  So important,  that you have to note it on your  birthday card.

Nora has loved Meredith since the day they met, which was the first day of kindergarten.  And what's not to love?  Meredith is silly, outgoing, loud, bouncy, happy;  everything a little girl would love in a best friend.  Especially, if said little girl is, by nature, more quiet and reserved.  At school, that is.   

So these two girls clicked from day one.

First Grade Field Trip to the zoo

The problem, at least to a second grader, is where to "rank" her other friends; some of whom she has known even longer.   Take Mel, for instance.  Nora has known Mel since preschool.  They have had play dates, sleepovers, and they LOVE each other.  So much, in fact, that Nora felt compelled to remind Meredith of this.   Remember that birthday card?  Well, look closer:  

CLOSER:  

This TOTALLY cracked me up!

Could it be?  TWO BFFs?  

Does this make Melanie BFF #2?  Or, should I totally shake things up and delcare them Co-BFFs? 

Apparently, I'm not the only mom dealing with this phenomenon lately.  At a recent soccer game, Meredith's mom said that Meredith wanted to know if it was okay to have more than one best friend.  Of course, her mom assured her that it was.  It is.

So when another mom called me yesterday to ask if I knew anything about the "fight" between her daughter and Nora,  I wasn't surprised.    Even though Nora hadn't mentioned anything.  

Nora and this girl are also very good friends.  Although, admittedly, when she comes to play at our house,  there does seem to be A LOT of arguing.  I don't know why that is.   Perhaps she and Nora are just too much alike; too stubborn,  too spoiled?  I don't know.  I just know that compared to other play dates at my house, these require much more interference on my part.  

This mom, said that Nora told her daughter she wouldn't play with her at recess, because she was playing with someone else.  And I'm sure that's exactly what happened.  Having gone through all of this before with Anna, I know that girls can be choosy selective about how they spend their free time.  Even in grade school.  But, honestly, I think it's okay.  I think that's how they learn.  They explore new people, new friends, and make new relationships.

I tried to convince this mom that things will be fine.  The girls will be friends again by tomorrow, if not sooner.  She asked if the girls could have a play date this weekend.  I guess to ensure their friendship really is secure.  And I think she wanted me to talk to Nora, to encourage her to use "nicer words" when telling her friends why she won't play with them.  That simply stating NO can be upsetting, especially to the sensitive hearted.  

So I did.  Later that night, I mentioned how her friend was feeling.  And Nora responded that she DID tell her she'd play with her the next day only to be told that her friend would be busy that day playing with someone else.  Ugh!  Girls!  

So why do these little people place so much emphasis on being at the top of the social ladder when, really, they love all their friends?    Right now, Meredith may hold the coveted spot, with Melanie being a close second.  But that could change tomorrow.  And then again next week:  that's life with girls.

For now, I am encouraging Nora to be friends with everyone.  Because they are all wonderful.  Really!  I get such a kick out of all of them.  More importantly, though, I am thankful for the way they have opened up Nora.  When she is with them, she is goofy, loud, rambunctious, even bossy sometimes.

And then they go home.  And I get my other girl back.  The quiet one who likes to watch movies and snuggle on the new couch she made for herself--for reading.

The At Home Nora